@WeHaveMoreCupsThanYou
You know man, I'm going to say this in all sincerity and in an attempt to evoke thought in you, it's never too late to enjoy the rest of your life.
Since Stinky is licensed and can't say this I will, you look for the negative and downside in almost everything which says to people that you feel like you're a failure and have to find the fail in others. Deny all you want but that's what people see. When your enjoyment is derived from misery, you're miserable and we know misery breeds company.
The key in your life is to recognize that you are doing this and facing it. Believe me man, boulders off your existence. The key isn't to be comfortable with yourself, we already know you aren't and you're just lashing out, it's to learn to be comfortable with yourself
while others are comfortable around you and your surroundings dude.
People can mock all they want and call zen and that's awesome. I'm telling you there's a path. I'm telling you I fucking finally found it. I'm telling you to start looking.
Do it for nobody other that yourself.