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OT: The News Thread

WeHaveMoreCupsThanYou said:
She's free to do whatever she wants. But she is not free from judgement if it all goes pear-shaped. And she herself should be her harshest critic if she wants to avoid getting into future troublesome situations. Mindfulness is the best medicine. Too many people float through life in an oblivious stupor as if they're just watching someone else's life. But it isn't someone else's, it's theirs. They just aren't "present" for it; they aren't paying attention to themselves and what's happening around them.
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glad you feel so strongly about the need to judge teenage rape victims.
 
WeHaveMoreCupsThanYou said:
She's free to do whatever she wants. But she is not free from judgement if it all goes pear-shaped. And she herself should be her harshest critic if she wants to avoid getting into future troublesome situations. Mindfulness is the best medicine. Too many people float through life in an oblivious stupor as if they're just watching someone else's life. But it isn't someone else's, it's theirs. They just aren't "present" for it; they aren't paying attention to themselves and what's happening around them.
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and the amount of time, energy, and keystrokes you have spent in an effort to judge HER is going to lead everyone else who is posting here to judge YOU.

again, everyone understands the point you want to make. rehashing it like this just makes you seem like a tone deaf jerk.
 
WeHaveMoreCupsThanYou said:
Then you literally have no standards of personal behavior then, and I'm sorry for you.
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Perhaps adults should be able to partake in consensual sexual activity without the fear of being assaulted. In fact, it happens all the time. Every day, everywhere. It’s happening right now, all over the planet.

She absolutely had the right to assume that she would not be assaulted. Her behaviour was well within the bounds of social mores, and to suggest her conduct should be questioned is ridiculous.
 
Habsy said:
Wehave was clearly raised in a highly critical, you're responsible for whatever happens to you environment.

The unrelenting nature of his takes comes from somewhere in childhood. To be a fly on the wall of those therapy sessions.
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I was raised to know the difference between what is within my control and what is outside my control. I was taught that I am responsible for all the stuff that is within my control. So my decision-making process in a given situation was subject to judgement from the outside and self-evaluation from the inside. I was held to a standard of behavior and so were most people I grew up with.

I also did 8 years in Catholic elementary school so being judgey is pretty much second nature.

Back in the 50's when my father was a teenager, he wanted to buy a leather jacket. My grandfather told him that wasn't a good idea because he would look like a hoodlum. My father said "But I'm not a hoodlum. You know that." to which my grandfather replied "You know you're not a hoodlum and I know you're not a hoodlum. But if you wear that jacket people who don't know you are going to take you for a hoodlum and treat you like one. So just because you know you aren't won't matter. You will be judged by how you look to others." My dad replied "But that isn't fair!" To which my grandfather simply said "What's fair doesn't matter. It's just how it is. Life isn't always fair."

When I was a teenager, a popular thing for kids to do was hang out at the mall. I, however, was not allowed to do this. I could go to the mall if I had a reason to be there, but not just to hang around. "People who hang around malls", my father explained, "are bored and will eventually either look for trouble or trouble will find them. I know you aren't the type of kid who looks for trouble so the best thing you can do for yourself is to not put yourself in a situation where trouble can find you."

The father of that girl in Sweden should have told her that the quickest way for her to find trouble was to volunteer to be some hockey player's piece of trim. She has now learned this the hard way.
 
Oh your fucking God.

Just shut the fuck up already.

Really just oblivious. Stop defending it. You are way offbase. It's a shame you were taught to be this way but you're an adult and can strive for better.
 
Habsy said:
You may be right. His post came immediately after I used the word piss. 🤔
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leafman101 said:
“she had to learn a lesson” is a real creepy take.
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She didn't have to learn the hard way, but she needed to learn as we all do that actions and choices come with consequences attached, both intended and unintended. Of course we have no idea how this woman was raised. Maybe her parents tried to impart these lessons and she just didn't listen or maybe they never told her a damn thing and let her run wild. But even the best kids need to make their own mistakes and learn from them if they want to mature. After all, their parents aren't always going to be around to advise them.

Sooner or later life kicks us all in the teeth. It wasn't a case of her "having" to learn. She was going to learn one way or another eventually. And I wouldn't even say that she learned the hard way as if there's only one "hard" way. She learned a hard way but it could have been much harder. Just ask that woman in London who was gang raped by 8 junior hockey players. Compared to that, what this woman suffered was negligible but she should look at what happened to that woman in London and think about what might have potentially happened to herself. That's the lesson.

None of us escapes consequences forever. Sooner or later, life teaches us lessons whether we want them or not. But we need to take responsibility for our choices otherwise it becomes too easy to rationalize making the same poor choices in the future.
 
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