Remembering Loved Ones
- Thread starter BURG
- Start date
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly
Sorry for everyone's losses. I couldn't even imagine losing a mother/father right now, and I don't even know how I'd handle it. But, after reading these posts, I immediately called both my parents. It's a very difficult situation, probably one of the most a human has to endure, the loss of life. I hope you guys stay strong.
Sorry for everyone's losses. I couldn't even imagine losing a mother/father right now, and I don't even know how I'd handle it. But, after reading these posts, I immediately called both my parents. It's a very difficult situation, probably one of the most a human has to endure, the loss of life. I hope you guys stay strong.
worm
Well-known member
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly
I will tell a little story as well if you dont mind.
My dad is alive and well...but he has changed so much in the last 6 months. Since my father-in-law died.
My dad stresses about everything...mostly money. He hates spending it. As a kid we never went on much of a vaction (which is no big deal), but after my wifes dad died my dad changed.
Suddenly he wants to go to Vegas with his family (my mom, 4 sons). This is actually not my dad. He doesn't do this. But when Jeff died suddenly he shifted his priorities. Saving money for later and later and later might seem like a great idea but what if later never comes. My dad is 58 and that seems young but Jeff died at 63...and as my dad put it "did not get to enjoy retirement"
So I cannot relate to having my dad die, my wife can. We found out he died in a very odd way. We drove from families to a camp ground late at night in a huge rain storm. Finally arrived and setup the tent in the dark and slept. The next morning we get woke up by park workers. They say there is a message for her. I do not think much of it. I check my cell phone, she checks hers...no service. So she goes with the park workers to the office to check this message. I stayed in the tent....figured it was just somebody trying to make sure we arrived safely. But I got this weird feeling a few minutes later...and sure enough a park worker comes back and says your wife needs you. I actually thought it was her mom that died. Get up there and she was covered in tears and anger and said he dad died. We had to make the 15 hour drive back. Was the longest 15 hours ever. For some reason I was thinking things would be better once we arrived. As if making it to Lethbridge would solve something. Obviously it didnt. In the coming weeks the biggest thing I remember is my wife trying to believe in god. She wanted so badly to believe in god (neither one of us do). She would ask me about it...all I could say was 'you never know'.
Once my dad dies (assuming he dies before me) I will never see him again. I will have to live the rest of my life knowing I will never see him again. This knowledge has led us to be closer. We are both huge hab fans and in two weeks we will go to our first habs game together (my dad doesn't spend money...so habs on the TV is all we ever got) and it will be something I will remember for the rest of my life.
I will tell a little story as well if you dont mind.
My dad is alive and well...but he has changed so much in the last 6 months. Since my father-in-law died.
My dad stresses about everything...mostly money. He hates spending it. As a kid we never went on much of a vaction (which is no big deal), but after my wifes dad died my dad changed.
Suddenly he wants to go to Vegas with his family (my mom, 4 sons). This is actually not my dad. He doesn't do this. But when Jeff died suddenly he shifted his priorities. Saving money for later and later and later might seem like a great idea but what if later never comes. My dad is 58 and that seems young but Jeff died at 63...and as my dad put it "did not get to enjoy retirement"
So I cannot relate to having my dad die, my wife can. We found out he died in a very odd way. We drove from families to a camp ground late at night in a huge rain storm. Finally arrived and setup the tent in the dark and slept. The next morning we get woke up by park workers. They say there is a message for her. I do not think much of it. I check my cell phone, she checks hers...no service. So she goes with the park workers to the office to check this message. I stayed in the tent....figured it was just somebody trying to make sure we arrived safely. But I got this weird feeling a few minutes later...and sure enough a park worker comes back and says your wife needs you. I actually thought it was her mom that died. Get up there and she was covered in tears and anger and said he dad died. We had to make the 15 hour drive back. Was the longest 15 hours ever. For some reason I was thinking things would be better once we arrived. As if making it to Lethbridge would solve something. Obviously it didnt. In the coming weeks the biggest thing I remember is my wife trying to believe in god. She wanted so badly to believe in god (neither one of us do). She would ask me about it...all I could say was 'you never know'.
Once my dad dies (assuming he dies before me) I will never see him again. I will have to live the rest of my life knowing I will never see him again. This knowledge has led us to be closer. We are both huge hab fans and in two weeks we will go to our first habs game together (my dad doesn't spend money...so habs on the TV is all we ever got) and it will be something I will remember for the rest of my life.
CH1
The Artist Formerly Known as chiggins.
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly
Great story worm.
I don't believe in God either, so one of the saddest things in the world (for me anyway) is people waiting until a funeral to reveal how much they admired/loved/respected that person.
Pay tribute to the ones you love when they are alive. Show gratitude towards them regularly.
Great story worm.
I don't believe in God either, so one of the saddest things in the world (for me anyway) is people waiting until a funeral to reveal how much they admired/loved/respected that person.
Pay tribute to the ones you love when they are alive. Show gratitude towards them regularly.
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly
Lotus, sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose a parent, especially a mom, given parents love you from the second you are born and before you even know you existed.
Burg, great post.
I should have responded earlier but as the anniv of my dad's death is coming up next month, I usually try to bury my head in the sand.
I don't know if there is everlasting life in the form as we are told in Sunday School but our loved ones do live on in our memories which gives them everlasting life at least in our minds.
Lotus, sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose a parent, especially a mom, given parents love you from the second you are born and before you even know you existed.
Burg, great post.
I should have responded earlier but as the anniv of my dad's death is coming up next month, I usually try to bury my head in the sand.
I don't know if there is everlasting life in the form as we are told in Sunday School but our loved ones do live on in our memories which gives them everlasting life at least in our minds.
BURG
Mod Squad
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Last thursday, (Feb. 21st) was the 21st anniversary of my father's death. Rather than starting another thread, I remembered that I had started this thread for the 20th anniversary of my father's death. I decided to "bump" it. I re-read every post in this thread and thought that it might be good to have a thread where we could "talk" about this sort of thing. I thought we could have a thread for "Memories and Condolences" of loved ones, including pets. I know Exit just lost Mia, his beloved dog, and I also lost the last of three cats, Zeppy, while I was on my vacation in Australia and New Zealand. I would encourage others to post memories or condolences of loved ones in this thread. Now, I do realize that some people are much more "private" than others, so don't feel like you have to post anything in here. Also, don't think that just because I started this thread about my father that you shouldn't post something in this thread. This thread isn't about me.
So, if you don't mind, let's just leave this thread for family, pets (because they are family too) and friend remembrances. Feel free to post stories or to just come and post a simple statement on the nth anniversary of a passing. I must say that, and I mean no disrespect, I enjoyed re-reading this whole thread for the perspectives given and gained.
Last thursday, (Feb. 21st) was the 21st anniversary of my father's death. Rather than starting another thread, I remembered that I had started this thread for the 20th anniversary of my father's death. I decided to "bump" it. I re-read every post in this thread and thought that it might be good to have a thread where we could "talk" about this sort of thing. I thought we could have a thread for "Memories and Condolences" of loved ones, including pets. I know Exit just lost Mia, his beloved dog, and I also lost the last of three cats, Zeppy, while I was on my vacation in Australia and New Zealand. I would encourage others to post memories or condolences of loved ones in this thread. Now, I do realize that some people are much more "private" than others, so don't feel like you have to post anything in here. Also, don't think that just because I started this thread about my father that you shouldn't post something in this thread. This thread isn't about me.
So, if you don't mind, let's just leave this thread for family, pets (because they are family too) and friend remembrances. Feel free to post stories or to just come and post a simple statement on the nth anniversary of a passing. I must say that, and I mean no disrespect, I enjoyed re-reading this whole thread for the perspectives given and gained.
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BURG
Mod Squad
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
This is what I wrote when Chloe died, September 30th, 2009, at approximately 2:30am.
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Hey guys. I just wanted to let you know that one of my cats, Chloe, just died right now as I was updating the NFL Points Spread Standings. The reason I mention the standings is that I am going to finish them, post them and then take some time for myself to reflect and to reminisce.
Some of you will understand and maybe some of you won't. I debated even posting this here because of the fact I am always signed in so it "looks" like I'm always here. I decided to just mention it incase I don't seem like the "BURG" that you all know and undoubtedly love. :lol Seriously though, the last week has been uneasy knowing that this day was coming. It will be really weird now because I am used to seeing Chloe around almost everyday for the last 14½ years. But, at least now she can keep Miami company.
R.I.P. Chloe. You definitely were one of a kind.
This is what I wrote when Chloe died, September 30th, 2009, at approximately 2:30am.
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Hey guys. I just wanted to let you know that one of my cats, Chloe, just died right now as I was updating the NFL Points Spread Standings. The reason I mention the standings is that I am going to finish them, post them and then take some time for myself to reflect and to reminisce.
Some of you will understand and maybe some of you won't. I debated even posting this here because of the fact I am always signed in so it "looks" like I'm always here. I decided to just mention it incase I don't seem like the "BURG" that you all know and undoubtedly love. :lol Seriously though, the last week has been uneasy knowing that this day was coming. It will be really weird now because I am used to seeing Chloe around almost everyday for the last 14½ years. But, at least now she can keep Miami company.
R.I.P. Chloe. You definitely were one of a kind.
BURG
Mod Squad
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
This was what I wrote about Snowball, on September 12th, 2011.
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Well, once again it is a sad day for me. The second of three cats, Snowball, passed away last night at the vet. Snowball was 14½ years old, just like Chloe was when she passed away. Snowball suffered an Arterial Thromboembolism/Arterial Thrombosis. Basically, that's a blood clot and apparently it is very painful. The onset of this is lightning quick. One minute the cat can be fine, and the next he's paralysed or even dead. That's what happened here. Snowball started wailing loudly and when I went to check on him, the lower half of his body was paralysed. Long story short, I took him to the vet, they told me about the blood clot preventing blood flowing to his lower body causing the paralysis and that he could be given blood thinner/meds. The prognosis wasn't very good and the vet told me that even with the meds, it was 50/50 that he would have the use of his back legs... but there was still a glimmer of hope. Needless to say, he didn't make it through the night.
I know that there are worse things happening in the world right now, but if you own a pet, please give it a little extra love today... for Snowball. Thanks.
Jacob.
This was what I wrote about Snowball, on September 12th, 2011.
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Well, once again it is a sad day for me. The second of three cats, Snowball, passed away last night at the vet. Snowball was 14½ years old, just like Chloe was when she passed away. Snowball suffered an Arterial Thromboembolism/Arterial Thrombosis. Basically, that's a blood clot and apparently it is very painful. The onset of this is lightning quick. One minute the cat can be fine, and the next he's paralysed or even dead. That's what happened here. Snowball started wailing loudly and when I went to check on him, the lower half of his body was paralysed. Long story short, I took him to the vet, they told me about the blood clot preventing blood flowing to his lower body causing the paralysis and that he could be given blood thinner/meds. The prognosis wasn't very good and the vet told me that even with the meds, it was 50/50 that he would have the use of his back legs... but there was still a glimmer of hope. Needless to say, he didn't make it through the night.
I know that there are worse things happening in the world right now, but if you own a pet, please give it a little extra love today... for Snowball. Thanks.
Jacob.
BURG
Mod Squad
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
...and for Zeppy.
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Some of you on facebook will already know about this but the last of my three cats, Zeppy, passed away on Feb. 11th, 2013, while I was on my vacation in Australia and New Zealand. Zeppy seriously was the most uber-friendly and nicest cat I have ever known. I knew Zeppy was on her final life when I left, but I was hoping that she would survive until I returned. Obviously, that was not the case. I have no regrets taking my trip when I did, but I do wish I would have been here when Zeppy passed away. Zeppy was less than two months removed from being 16 years old. The short back story is that Zeppy lost about four pounds in almost two months. That is a lot for a cat. I took her to the vet and a tumor was found in her stomach. She was on pills to see if it would help. It did for a little while, but eventually she passed away.
Like I said last time this happened... I know that there are worse things happening in the world, but if you own a pet, please give them a little extra love today... for Zeppy. Thanks.
R.I.P. Zeppy.
Jacob.
...and for Zeppy.
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Some of you on facebook will already know about this but the last of my three cats, Zeppy, passed away on Feb. 11th, 2013, while I was on my vacation in Australia and New Zealand. Zeppy seriously was the most uber-friendly and nicest cat I have ever known. I knew Zeppy was on her final life when I left, but I was hoping that she would survive until I returned. Obviously, that was not the case. I have no regrets taking my trip when I did, but I do wish I would have been here when Zeppy passed away. Zeppy was less than two months removed from being 16 years old. The short back story is that Zeppy lost about four pounds in almost two months. That is a lot for a cat. I took her to the vet and a tumor was found in her stomach. She was on pills to see if it would help. It did for a little while, but eventually she passed away.
Like I said last time this happened... I know that there are worse things happening in the world, but if you own a pet, please give them a little extra love today... for Zeppy. Thanks.
R.I.P. Zeppy.
Jacob.
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Very touching post Burg....I've been through that too but my mom passed away a slow death so it gave me an opportunity to prepare myself mentally for the outcome.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be when it just happens out of the blue
I really respect the courage you showed especially at that age
Very touching post Burg....I've been through that too but my mom passed away a slow death so it gave me an opportunity to prepare myself mentally for the outcome.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be when it just happens out of the blue
I really respect the courage you showed especially at that age
Tiger's Wood
Active member
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
I fully realize that the joy of having had your pets far outweighs the pain of their passing, however, it saddens me to see how fleeting their time was.
We've only had one pet in our home and have not repeated the experience, after it passed away less than 2 years after we got it. It was far too painful for our kids at the time, so we just moved on. But, good on you to have continued to provide a loving and nurturing environment for all those animals who were fortunate to be in your home.
I fully realize that the joy of having had your pets far outweighs the pain of their passing, however, it saddens me to see how fleeting their time was.
We've only had one pet in our home and have not repeated the experience, after it passed away less than 2 years after we got it. It was far too painful for our kids at the time, so we just moved on. But, good on you to have continued to provide a loving and nurturing environment for all those animals who were fortunate to be in your home.
HabsAddict
New member
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Wow Burg, that was great and kind of hurtful. Not your fault, it's just that right now, my mother is in the hospital and my 95 year old father is looking after her. I'm always a late sleeper but now, it's calling Greece at all hours in the morning, talking to doctors and them.
I'm torn with guilt about what to do. They wont come here, I can't go there without losing my company, they wont go into an old peoples home, I can't afford round the clock nursing at their home in the long term ($100K plus a year, even in effen Greece), so I take it one day at a time and have my bags packed. Been there three times last year and I'm resigned that I'm going back a lot more times in the near future.
I knew this was coming, but still, it hurts.
Again, thank you for sharing that. I want to bookmark it or keep it in my hard drive........but I'm afraid that I wont be able to read it for a while.......
Wow Burg, that was great and kind of hurtful. Not your fault, it's just that right now, my mother is in the hospital and my 95 year old father is looking after her. I'm always a late sleeper but now, it's calling Greece at all hours in the morning, talking to doctors and them.
I'm torn with guilt about what to do. They wont come here, I can't go there without losing my company, they wont go into an old peoples home, I can't afford round the clock nursing at their home in the long term ($100K plus a year, even in effen Greece), so I take it one day at a time and have my bags packed. Been there three times last year and I'm resigned that I'm going back a lot more times in the near future.
I knew this was coming, but still, it hurts.
Again, thank you for sharing that. I want to bookmark it or keep it in my hard drive........but I'm afraid that I wont be able to read it for a while.......
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HabsAddict
New member
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Umm...absolutely no disrespect for your opinion. My mother in law passed away slowly from lung cancer and it was long, drawn out affair where you watch someone helplessly wither away. I hope the day will never come, but when it does, that it's fast and painless for my parents.....or me.
Umm...absolutely no disrespect for your opinion. My mother in law passed away slowly from lung cancer and it was long, drawn out affair where you watch someone helplessly wither away. I hope the day will never come, but when it does, that it's fast and painless for my parents.....or me.
HabsAddict
New member
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly
For crying out loud, 58 is not "old". He's the same age I am and I expect another 30-40 years (give or take a wife or two more! LOL!). My father was driving until 92. Nine months ago, he broke his femur joint (hip?), they screwed it back together and now he's walking around all day and he's 95.
Age has a lot to do with how one feels. If he feels old at 58, he's going to drag himself down for nothing. At 58, death is not something we can predict or plan for, so for f@ck sake, tell him to quite the worry and enjoy life. Tell him to get a bike and we'll go for some p*ssy hunting......
As for money, he has to be a bit careful with it and makes sure he doesn't make any mistakes, but still, ones life doesn't have to revolve around it.
For crying out loud, 58 is not "old". He's the same age I am and I expect another 30-40 years (give or take a wife or two more! LOL!). My father was driving until 92. Nine months ago, he broke his femur joint (hip?), they screwed it back together and now he's walking around all day and he's 95.
Age has a lot to do with how one feels. If he feels old at 58, he's going to drag himself down for nothing. At 58, death is not something we can predict or plan for, so for f@ck sake, tell him to quite the worry and enjoy life. Tell him to get a bike and we'll go for some p*ssy hunting......
As for money, he has to be a bit careful with it and makes sure he doesn't make any mistakes, but still, ones life doesn't have to revolve around it.
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Its really a matter of opinion, I've been through long slow deaths, my dad passed away from lung cancer also and yes its painful to see a loved one suffer a slow agonizing death and I have no idea how they must feel but on the one hand and this may be selfish to say for my mother and sister and I the innitial blow wasn't as hard as say waking up one day thinking its a normal day and all of a sudden you lose a parent.
When my mom passed away I had the opportunity to put evrything in order and prepare from everything from funeral arrangements to the will etc...had I not had those weeks to prepare I would have been extremely overwhelmed to do all that in a week to two.
It's really a matter of perspective, I've really only known slow deaths for my family members
Its really a matter of opinion, I've been through long slow deaths, my dad passed away from lung cancer also and yes its painful to see a loved one suffer a slow agonizing death and I have no idea how they must feel but on the one hand and this may be selfish to say for my mother and sister and I the innitial blow wasn't as hard as say waking up one day thinking its a normal day and all of a sudden you lose a parent.
When my mom passed away I had the opportunity to put evrything in order and prepare from everything from funeral arrangements to the will etc...had I not had those weeks to prepare I would have been extremely overwhelmed to do all that in a week to two.
It's really a matter of perspective, I've really only known slow deaths for my family members
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
Sorry to hear about this HA.
Sorry to hear about this HA.
BURG
Mod Squad
Re: OT: Twenty years goes by so damn quickly: Remembering Loved Ones
HA, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and what you're having to contemplate at the moment. I hope that everything goes as well as possible for your parents and for yourself. Stay as positive as you can about the whole situation.
HA, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through and what you're having to contemplate at the moment. I hope that everything goes as well as possible for your parents and for yourself. Stay as positive as you can about the whole situation.