I'm saying that even when you appear to have transit-centric development it doesn't work that great in North America because people won't get rid of their cars no matter what. It works better in Europe where not owning a car is more commonplace.
Except that's not really true in practice at all. Where there is good rail/subway service in north america, it gets usage in line with anywhere else in the world. It's almost like most people aren't remotely as ideological about transportation as people like you want to make them seem, and they just want to get where they're going as quickly and efficiently as possible or something.
Daily Trips/Population/System Length
London Underground: 4M/9M/402km
Paris Metro: 6.75M/12.3M/226km
Brussels Metro: 415K/1.2M/40km
Copenhagen Metro: 201K/1.4M/38km
Toronto Subway: 934K/2.9M/71km
Vancouver Skytrain: 427K/2.5M/80km
Montreal Metro: 670K/1.8M/69km
New York Subway: 3.2M/9M/399km
Berlin U-Bahn: 1.5M/3.7M/156km
Vienna U-Bahn: 1.4M/2M/83km
Sao Paola Metro: 2.9M/22.6M/104km
Mexico City: 2.8M/22M/201km
Shanghai Metro: 7.7M/24.7M/795km
Tokyo Metro:7.6M/37M/304km
I could go on and list more, but this provides more than enough example.
If you build it, people use it, point blank period. Systems that are better, faster, and more comprehensive will draw a higher percentage of total trips than shittier systems when competing with road based transit (of any type).
The rest of what you said is a myth that suburban white people who like trucks tell each other to feel better about their choices. It's not the reality when actual choice is provided for moving around.